Iron Man Preludes

I sat in the theater, waiting for Jeff Hayes and Sarah and Kat. A long train of geeks walked by me to get to their seats and for some reason had to stop, mid-stream. My legs were up so they could go by and so there was this gal, standing behind a guy I assume is her boyfriend, stuck in front of me.

“I’m Judd.”

We shook hands.

“I’m Lauren.”

The line moved along.

“I’m glad we had that moment.”

My crew arrived and I got up to join them.

At the end of the trailers, I turned to Kat and whispered, “No Batman trailer? Aw man.”

This dude next to me says, clearly irritated, “Batman’s DC. Iron Man is Marvel.”

“I know but its just a trailer. I thought-”

“Batman’s DC. Iron Man is Marvel.”

“Its just a trailer.”

“Batman’s DC. Iron Man is Marvel.”

Every time he repeated it, I could feel his irritation grow. A cruel part of me wanted to push him, either by making him repeat it over and over or just by denying that it was true.

“No way, Batman’s an Avenger! I remember him there during Busiek’s run a few years ago!”

His head would have exploded and then we could have dipped our popcorn in his exposed brain.

81 thoughts on “Iron Man Preludes

  1. Look at all the fun anecdotes I miss out on by going to the drive-in! I hardly ever overhear my fellow viewers’ stupidity, but I do occasionally get to see teenagers crawling out of the trunks of cars to avoid paying admission.

  2. Look at all the fun anecdotes I miss out on by going to the drive-in! I hardly ever overhear my fellow viewers’ stupidity, but I do occasionally get to see teenagers crawling out of the trunks of cars to avoid paying admission.

  3. Look at all the fun anecdotes I miss out on by going to the drive-in! I hardly ever overhear my fellow viewers’ stupidity, but I do occasionally get to see teenagers crawling out of the trunks of cars to avoid paying admission.

  4. It’s funny, because as I was watching Iron Man, I was thinking about how Batman is the rich boy turned monk and Iron Man is the rich boy out of control.

  5. It’s funny, because as I was watching Iron Man, I was thinking about how Batman is the rich boy turned monk and Iron Man is the rich boy out of control.

  6. It’s funny, because as I was watching Iron Man, I was thinking about how Batman is the rich boy turned monk and Iron Man is the rich boy out of control.

  7. you and lauren should have teamed up and taken him on a tour of the movie industry, revealing in cheerful animatronic detail why his line of thinking just don’t make no sense. Like an old 50’s film strip or factory tour.

    Then thrown him to the wolves.

    (that’s how i see it at least).

    Yeah we had the bats down here. and Indy.

  8. you and lauren should have teamed up and taken him on a tour of the movie industry, revealing in cheerful animatronic detail why his line of thinking just don’t make no sense. Like an old 50’s film strip or factory tour.

    Then thrown him to the wolves.

    (that’s how i see it at least).

    Yeah we had the bats down here. and Indy.

  9. you and lauren should have teamed up and taken him on a tour of the movie industry, revealing in cheerful animatronic detail why his line of thinking just don’t make no sense. Like an old 50’s film strip or factory tour.

    Then thrown him to the wolves.

    (that’s how i see it at least).

    Yeah we had the bats down here. and Indy.

  10. Possible responses to “Batman’s DC. Iron Man is Marvel.”

    5. Cruelling misleading: “I heard on-line that they’re doing a DC-Marvel crossover movie.”

    4. Show off superior knowledge: “Well yeah, but it’s not like Marvel is going to make a Nighthawk movie.”

    3. Smugly attack obvious insecurities: “Just keep telling yourself that.”

    2. Insightful: “You sound pretty upset about that. Are you going to be OK?”

    1. Polite: “Please go away.”

  11. Possible responses to “Batman’s DC. Iron Man is Marvel.”

    5. Cruelling misleading: “I heard on-line that they’re doing a DC-Marvel crossover movie.”

    4. Show off superior knowledge: “Well yeah, but it’s not like Marvel is going to make a Nighthawk movie.”

    3. Smugly attack obvious insecurities: “Just keep telling yourself that.”

    2. Insightful: “You sound pretty upset about that. Are you going to be OK?”

    1. Polite: “Please go away.”

  12. Possible responses to “Batman’s DC. Iron Man is Marvel.”

    5. Cruelling misleading: “I heard on-line that they’re doing a DC-Marvel crossover movie.”

    4. Show off superior knowledge: “Well yeah, but it’s not like Marvel is going to make a Nighthawk movie.”

    3. Smugly attack obvious insecurities: “Just keep telling yourself that.”

    2. Insightful: “You sound pretty upset about that. Are you going to be OK?”

    1. Polite: “Please go away.”

  13. It’s that strange magnetism of “geek” culture which draws in the angrily OCD; folks busy taking in the world around them and concluding so many wrong things, somehow subtly crossing the circuits of the real and imaginary.

    I sometimes wonder how that mental trait translated in other eras. Maybe that’s why medieval bestiaries are so weird (that’s ignoring the allegorical angle).

  14. It’s that strange magnetism of “geek” culture which draws in the angrily OCD; folks busy taking in the world around them and concluding so many wrong things, somehow subtly crossing the circuits of the real and imaginary.

    I sometimes wonder how that mental trait translated in other eras. Maybe that’s why medieval bestiaries are so weird (that’s ignoring the allegorical angle).

  15. It’s that strange magnetism of “geek” culture which draws in the angrily OCD; folks busy taking in the world around them and concluding so many wrong things, somehow subtly crossing the circuits of the real and imaginary.

    I sometimes wonder how that mental trait translated in other eras. Maybe that’s why medieval bestiaries are so weird (that’s ignoring the allegorical angle).

  16. So this guy was off-base. It is my understanding that theaters decide which trailers go in front of which movies, for the most part. There is sometimes an arrangement made for certain films to ensure that specific trailers come before them. You’ll most often see this as the last trailer before the movie starts. But if a theater wanted to put a Zach & Miri Make a Porno trailer in front of the My Pretty Pony movie, they could do it.

    Please note the big “it is my understanding.” I may have some of the details wrong but I’m pretty confident about the broad strokes.

  17. So this guy was off-base. It is my understanding that theaters decide which trailers go in front of which movies, for the most part. There is sometimes an arrangement made for certain films to ensure that specific trailers come before them. You’ll most often see this as the last trailer before the movie starts. But if a theater wanted to put a Zach & Miri Make a Porno trailer in front of the My Pretty Pony movie, they could do it.

    Please note the big “it is my understanding.” I may have some of the details wrong but I’m pretty confident about the broad strokes.

  18. So this guy was off-base. It is my understanding that theaters decide which trailers go in front of which movies, for the most part. There is sometimes an arrangement made for certain films to ensure that specific trailers come before them. You’ll most often see this as the last trailer before the movie starts. But if a theater wanted to put a Zach & Miri Make a Porno trailer in front of the My Pretty Pony movie, they could do it.

    Please note the big “it is my understanding.” I may have some of the details wrong but I’m pretty confident about the broad strokes.

  19. We had the Batman trailer. Makes me wonder if he’d have been muttering through the whole thing about the injustice of it all.

    Also Indy 4, the Hulk and (for the official WTF? trailer – there’s always one) Mike Myers’ The Love Guru.

  20. We had the Batman trailer. Makes me wonder if he’d have been muttering through the whole thing about the injustice of it all.

    Also Indy 4, the Hulk and (for the official WTF? trailer – there’s always one) Mike Myers’ The Love Guru.

  21. We had the Batman trailer. Makes me wonder if he’d have been muttering through the whole thing about the injustice of it all.

    Also Indy 4, the Hulk and (for the official WTF? trailer – there’s always one) Mike Myers’ The Love Guru.

  22. Although I feel your anger flow through you, Yoda and I applaud your reckfulness, or unrecklessness, whichever you prefer.

    My preferred response (to build on JP’s):
    Friendly nonsequitor–“Heya, I’m having a great day, how about you?” or “I love your GF’s earrings/shoes/pendant.” I have to be on my game to pull it off well.

  23. Although I feel your anger flow through you, Yoda and I applaud your reckfulness, or unrecklessness, whichever you prefer.

    My preferred response (to build on JP’s):
    Friendly nonsequitor–“Heya, I’m having a great day, how about you?” or “I love your GF’s earrings/shoes/pendant.” I have to be on my game to pull it off well.

  24. Although I feel your anger flow through you, Yoda and I applaud your reckfulness, or unrecklessness, whichever you prefer.

    My preferred response (to build on JP’s):
    Friendly nonsequitor–“Heya, I’m having a great day, how about you?” or “I love your GF’s earrings/shoes/pendant.” I have to be on my game to pull it off well.

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