Sometimes a tidbit comes up on a forum and I want to share it. Here it is, a response to someone on the Burning Wheel forum asking how we handle mechanics for falling in love:
I was playing a sorcerer, a bastard who had been trained in the arcane arts. Poor guy longed to be accepted and was in love with a local duke’s daughter. He had a belief about impressing her father so that he could win her hand in marriage. I didn’t know much more than that as the game began.
Then I met her in play and Storn, the GM, played her as this fearless warrior woman. When I shared a meal with her family, the father was jesting with the kitchen workers and enjoying his food and family, enjoying life. I realized that my character wasn’t just in love with her (and he was) but in the life they would lead together, in bringing his cold, stark ducal house with this warm ducal house. It was linked to my BIT’s but rather than challenge them, it kind of deepened them as they already existed.
I wouldn’t let something like that come down to dice. I’d go by your instincts, get into the character’s shoes and see how they feel about it. I like it when characters tell me something that surprises me, something that was hinted at on the character sheet but that I just didn’t know yet.