And the Pumpkin King made stuffing from the fat of the children who weren’t tricky enough to deserve treats.  He put that stuffing in the turkey to share with the natives.  When the pilgrims and the natives cut open the turkey on Black Friday, there was Baby Messiah holding all of the good stuff to be held until the Winter Consumerist Exchange.

– Federal Holy Book, Book of Happiness, Chapter 3, Verse 5

Happy Thanksgiving, folks.